It's amazing to me that it's been six years. I can't really say it seems like only yesterday, because there is just so much that has happened in those six years. I received my first trigger shot FedEx package on my wedding day, on Halloween, while in my wedding dress. It was the beginning of so many things, and it reminds me that our marriage is intricately entwined with our journey to parenthood, and that that journey is STILL not over. We have been through so much in those six years. We've also grown so much, and as much as I feel the "it made us stronger" is dangerously cliche, it's true. We didn't just survive infertility, we battled it together and continue to be a united front, working to bring our FutureBaby home.
We celebrated our private anniversary a weekend early this year, at one of our favorite restaurants, because this past weekend was our baby shower, the friends-and-family one, and so we had Bryce's mom and aunt in from out of town and my best friend in and so Friday was spent getting settled with my in-laws. But really, what better way is there to spend your sixth anniversary than having your baby shower to celebrate a long-awaited baby (who you are still patiently waiting for)?
Part of me is scared, though...scared that we celebrated and we have a house full of things for our baby and it might not come to pass, that something could go horribly wrong and despite all of our best intentions the journey could end. I don't think so, but that niggling, nasty little voice at the back of my head worries and worries and rubs a bit of my skull shiny and smooth with all of the worrying.
The rest of my consciousness is feeling loved, and supported, and like we celebrated not just the anniversary of us becoming a family of two, a beautiful marriage and relationship that has survived these six years of many joys and nearly as much heartache...but we ALSO celebrated all the love and support and excitement that we have for Mystery Baby, that SO MANY people have for Mystery Baby, and it was truly wonderful.
Saturday we will sit out in our firepit in the driveway, eating chicken wing dip and pumpkin pie and having wine or cocktails after we hand out our 7 full-size candy bars (seriously, SEVEN children the last two years. SEVEN.), and celebrate with our neighbors as we have for the past 9 years. And maybe giddily answer some questions from those not in the know about the cardboard crib boxes and torn baby gift bags and other assorted baby gear detritus that's been out at the curb for garbage pickup.
There's movement, and change, and a fast-materializing nursery almost ready for Mystery Baby to come fill it. It's a good feeling, once I smother that nasty little voice in the back of my head, worrying that bit of my skull into a polished shine.
|Lovebirds before fancy schmancy anniversary dinner, in our garden|
|Silly faces (maybe Bryce is going for The Shining as inspiration?)|
|Me, in a New Mom-To-Be tiara with the shower planning committee! (more shower pictures to come)|
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